Let’s talk about this idea of perfection.
I often get mother’s coming into my office with such pressure from themselves, their family, their in-laws, their mom friends and society or social networks to be perfect. But what does this mean? What does it mean to be a perfect mother and does such a thing exist? Perhaps, but then are we not raising potential narcissists because every need is perfectly catered for? In fact, their worlds (mothers) bend over backwards to have these wants and needs met.
The truth is we have to sometimes fail. Our children need to learn we are human too and most of all that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay for things to not work out the way you want them to. It’s okay. It’s how you get back after the fall. It’s how you try again. It’s in the do-overs.It’s also okay to be your unique authentic self and not a version you think others expect you to be.
A well known psychologist Winnicott spoke of the term ‘good enough’ mother. He speaks of the importance of being good enough and not necessarily perfect. This is what creates resilience in our children. This is what creates independence and the ability to tolerate frustration.
So to all the mothers, be a little more gentle with yourself. Let’s be perfectly imperfect.